If You Think You "SHOULD" Make That Lifestyle Change, Think Again!

You’re at a party and a nice big slice of chocolate cake heads your way. Remembering those extra pounds you want to shed, you say to yourself,
“I shouldn’t…”

Or this scenario: as your friends are giving you a bad time, and even the surgeon general puts the kibosh on your smoke, you grab the cigarette pack light up, and say to yourself, “I really ‘should’ quit smoking…”

The deal is, any time we think we “should” make a change; it’s just not going to happen. Do yourself a favor instead, and indulge.

Change your thinking, change your life. We’ve all heard that before, right? First, you have to get honest with yourself.

Here’s a little trick, Stop “shoulding” yourself. Delete “should” and add “want”. Now, ask yourself, “OK, what do I want/don’t want”?

When the “should” becomes a “want,” you’re ready to roll. You have to want it so much you can almost taste it, before you’ll have the necessary
“self buy-in” to change an entrenched habit. Instead of saying “I shouldn’t eat that cake” you’ll say, “I am going to pass, because I want to lose the weight and feel great in my skin”.

If you are still at the “should” stage and really can’t taste the “want” yet, get off your back and stop haranguing yourself. Enjoy the status quo, until the time comes when you don’t, or life circumstances remind you with a knock so strong, there is no way you can avoid the wake-up call.

You know what you want, so commit to yourself first

The buddy system is a great idea, but you have to commit to yourself first and foremost. That way, when your buddy is too tired, or doesn’t have enough time today, or has to pick up the kids - your eye stays on the prize and you go for the gold no matter what.

Be practical and start slowly.

Maintain small increments of success, until healthy choices become routine and then you can increase your goals.

Know when to say yes and when to say no. Exercise the NO to bad choices and YES to healthy habits.

Change your perspective on what is the “real treat.” Is it that piece of chocolate, or a bowl of ice cream? Or is the real treat, the way your dress fits so nicely across your hips, or the slack in your waistband, causing you to fasten your belt an extra notch or two? Or the way you move so effortlessly when you run/walk? Or the way you feel so great inside because you have finally taken charge?

Get Support

You may want to find a program/group that can help you stay on track, or hire a life coach who will help you stay accountable. Changing habits, doesn’t happen over night. Yet, when you line up with your wants, commit to yourself for the long haul, and have the right support, you’re there. “You have arrived!”

Rosemary O’Neill. MA, MFT is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC).
She contracted for a national magazine, “Shape”, coaching for the “Weight Loss Diary” monthly segment, 2008.