2+2=5!

On the topic of Right/Wrong (when it comes to day to day communications and relationships):

Leave right and wrong for science, math and moral issues.

If I tell you that 2+2 =5, then I am wrong because we all know it equals 4. Moral issues... speak for themselves… let the judge decide.

In work/friendship/romantic relationships, the polarity of right and wrong will surely take us to hell in a hand basket very fast. If one is right, the other is wrong, No chance for a win/win outcome. If you value win-win, here is another perspective...

The fact is, we are all different, not right or wrong, just different. We each look through the lens of our own perspective and our own reality. Under most circumstances, it is not necessary to win/convince someone to see it our way. When we make a mutual agreement to agree to disagree, and have the goodwill to not intentionally hurt the other, then we have a chance through the impasse.

Example: I agree to understand you, will you agree to understand me? I will take ownership of my mistakes, and apologize for any bad behavior on my part, and do my best to not step on your toes again. Will you?

Even in circumstances when there is not a win/win agreement and you do not have buy-in from your listener, you can maintain win-win yourself. Being “right” often rests in arrogance and judgment, leaving one in a state of reaction and defensiveness. The sense of “self-satisfaction” that may come from “being right”, is usually fleeting and sooner or later turns into feeling like a chump, and stuck in a too familiar worn-out rut.

Coaching can do wonders to ease a challenge such as this. If you know anyone who is open to a perspective shift, feel free to pass along the information.

Sincerely,

www.rosemaryoneill.com